Cardboard Spaceship

F-22 Proves Life Funnier than Me.

Well, I recently posted about some problems I had with a flight where the avionics software was borked, and I told a joke about safety critical software. 

Life is Funner than Me.

Imagine, you are zimming along in your F-22 Raptor, with the big googly shades on, and feeling all kinda hot and horny flying along in your gravity support tights at Mach 2, heading for Japan, when suddenly.  Nothing.

You crossed the date line and your avionics systems suddenly fail completely.   I bet you feel all let down and kind of ass-hattish  when you have to slowly circle a refuelling tanker that is trying to show you how to get to Hawaii.

Now, that West to East bug needs fixing, and fast, after all, aren't the emerging enemies in Asia and the Fucked-Up-iStans? 

Wow.  Way to go. 

I do remember reading about this problem for not only the shuttle, but also the B-52, which is that the intended life-cycle of the machine goes beyond the availability of the parts that make it up.  I mean, who wants to keep an Intel 8086 fab running for the joy of the US military.   Taking the example of the B-52, which has a service life scheduled until 2040, giving it a total service life of 80+ years, this means extensive retrofitting.

It is worth noting that the Russian forces tended to have two of the most used weapons in use today, the AK47, still hot after all these years, and the hillman and city insurgent's favourite, the RPG.  Simple, easier to copy, build and and repair, and asymmetrically destructive.  The RPG costs a few hundred dollars, and the tank it destroys costs ten million.   

Complexity and functionality are sometimes serious enemies. 

Another Airport Security Near Miss...

Or should I say Mrs?

Took the plane this morning to Amsterdam, nothing much to report, usual cheerless KLM flight. If the national airline reflects the character of the country, the Dutch are not in good shape.

Had the normal day chatting about SAP Banking, which was exciting. (No, really, big project just about to kick off...)

Then I got to the airport to come home, and when I got to the gate, I handed in my boarding pass, and the charming young lady at the gate said:

"But you are not going to Geneva... Sir?"

I looked at my boarding pass, and sure enough it was for "Harriet Newhouse," and was from Amsterdam to Khartoum.

Right. 

So one quick sex change, and a change of destination later, I was off home again. Whoever had given me the pass in Geneva this morning had pulled a Wilson.

In fact, it turned out that I actually had been being Harriet in the morning too, according to my boarding pass, and no-one noticed then either. Least of all me, or I might have been bit camp, just see if anyone would react...

And this evening, inexplicably, none of the eagle eyed security personnel at Schiphol had spotted me as being a cross dressing business woman destined for an Islamic country, which might be expected to raise at least an eyebrow, you would think...

Mind you, that raises the terrifying prospect that she and I do look alike, in which case the poor woman must have terrible trouble getting a date. It might also explain Khartoum, as the unfortunate woman could walk round in a Bhurka without people going:

"You look like a big fat Scotsman in a dress, luv!"

Right...

Warnings You Don`t Want.

Yesterday, I was supposed to go to London with Mrs Spaceship, and the SSOTA.  We got to the airport at about eight in the morning, and we were going to fly to London to see our new niece, who was having here first birthday, and it would be a great occasion for us all to get together. 

Well, it was Easyjet, and so it was cheap flight issues time.  Firstly, the Belgian air traffic controllers were having some kind of work to rule, and so they were allocating slots only very slowly, and so the incoming place was about an hour and half late, which was beginning to make us a bit late, but still OK, and then we boarded the plane. 

Then there are the kinds of movements in the cockpit that don`t look good if you are experienced judge of these things.  Sure enough, a polite and professional captain comes out of the cockpit and says.

"Well, I am sorry to say that the plane does not want to be a plane today, and so we will just turn it on and off again, which often works wonders."

So they do a kind of Control-Alt-Delete in the cockpit, and also in the cabin, which seems to involve poking a finger into a hole in the main light at the cockpit door?  (I am pretty sure of cause and effect here, as it was done several times...)  Weird, just as well the terrorist don`t figure out how to do that, eh what?

Only, there is this warning that is still sounding, and so engineers turn up, and they reboot a few more times, and pick and poke about, but eventually the captain comes out and says:

"Sorry folks, this one is serious, the plane is not going anywhere today.  We have been pushing it up the chain, and in fact have complained to Airbus because of the nature of this fault." 

I personally thought this might just be a bit of a PR touch, but we have to wait to disembark, and so to his credit the captain stayed up front, and chatted with the passengers trying to make sure that people knew what was going on. 

Then I heard him say what the warning was intended to convey.

DUAL ENGINE FAILURE (on an Airbus 319, which only has two engines...)

Funnily enough, he seemed disinclined take off, as if it goes off in the air, he would obviously be obliged to land as soon as possible.  In this case, more or less immediately. 

He was wandering up the aisle, and stopped for a chat for a minute or two, and he confirmed what I had overheard, and I told him a joke about problems with software.

There is a conference on developing safety critical software, and the first speaker stands up, and asks a question:

"In all honesty, how many of you would be worried about taking off in a plane if you knew that your team had developed the flight control software?"

Of the thirty or so people in the room, all but one put up their hand.

The speaker turns to the sole dissenter, and says:

"Congratulations, you must be very certain of your team`s ability!"

"Yes, I am!  there`s no cause for worry, because if my team has written the flight control programs, we would even be able to get the damn plane to start in the first place..." 

Well, after that Easyjet did lay on another plane, but we had missed the event that we wanted to go for, and Mrs Spaceship who is very nervous flyer at the best of times decided that she wasn`t feeling very steady about the flight, and so we disembarked, and came home, having spent a fortune to go nowhere.
Having said that, I would much rather that, than they did some crazy "fly-at-all-costs" escapade, and created a different kind of problem...

Banking Base Camp

Spent the last three days of the week at the SAP Banking Base Camp in Mannheim, catching up with all of my colleagues from around the world.  Good attendance with about 800 or so people.  The grteat thing about this conference is the ability to walk around, and go "Hey! You need to talk to this guy!" Then you get the right two people to talk, and suddenly all sorts of problems get sorted. 

SAP is making great progress in the banking area, and I have to say that I am going to be busy, busy in the next little while, as I have a couple of banks active in South Africa, and another in the UK and one in Paris.  I also have to help some of my colleagues pick up the reins at a bank in Holland, and another in Belgium. 

Well, we will see how this is going to work.  Will be busy. 

SAP-a-JORPIS

Please-God-say-this-isn't-true time...

Oracle are rumoured to be considering a bid for SAP. 

I've joked about the source code collision that is JORPIS before, but with SAP on top!  Holy Crap! 

Has to be a silly season one, but given that SAP and Microsoft, it turns out, did talk about merging, then this kind of thing has to be taken seriously, even if it seems very unlikely that it would be possible to get it past the merger approval process.

Maybe it is time to get polishing my Thingamy skills.

An Old Friend Comes to Geneva

Well, life is weird.   

Just had an old friend on the phone, now this is a guy I been friends with for years, since I was 13, and I am 41 now, so that's the thick end of thirty years.  We were at school together, at university together, and shared a flat in London on a couple of different occasions, as well as me living in his spare bedroon during the week when I was commuting to my job in London, and recently married in Geneva.   I mean, we are talking oooolllddd friends.

Turns out that he just gave up his job in Holland, and is going to be working with Alco here in Geneva, so he will be around.  Amazing.  Of course, him (his name is John Currie) being him, just called once he got here. 

I got a call from a strange cell number, but a Swiss one, so when I picked up and it was John, well, I was puzzled, and then he announces he's in town to live.  Heh.   Remarkable.

South Africa

Did another one of my lightning raids to the Southern Hemisphere this week.  Left on Sunday night, and got back this morning.  Interesting trip.  I am am always very happy to BE in South Africa, althought GETTING THERE, is a long process.  Here is a picture of the SAP South Africa office.

Not a nice place to work, and the 30 degree temperatures are not nice all in the middle of what is my winter.  No Sir! 

Anyway, we had a few meetings, one of which is in Sandton, which is where the banks have their being, unless like Standard Bank or ABSA they have to stay downtown for politic reasons.

Terrible place, no money there at all. 

This Lloyd Chisholm head of SA financial services, and Ryan Mitchell, who does all the work. =-)  Good guys, and probably the most successful of the SAP Banking sales teams.

Got a little bit of weather later, which made the eventual flight home abit bumpy, but I like it that way, its more entertaining. 

Good trip, and we achieved what was intended, but I am still glad to be home in the Spaceship...

When the Snow Came

All and sundry have no doubt read about the big snows falls in Europe, and we had our share in Geneva.  This is the sight that greeting me about five days ago when I looked out into the garden here at the Spaceship. 

Rather beautiful, and so Mrs Spaceship and I took advantage in the middle of the day, and had a walk with Wim, the Most Intelligent Member of the Crew.

He loved it, and here he is playing with one of his local chums.

Dogs love snow, and here is another of the neighbourhood pooches looking a bit thoughtful...

When we came back, I worked more in the afternoon, but looked out of the window long enough to catch this rather wonderful sunset from where I was sitting. 

Iraq War "Calamity" says Zbigniew Brzezinski

Zbigniew Brzezinski, former National Security Advisor gives a damning verdict on the Iraq war, and the current situation, in a planned testimony to Washington.

"The war in Iraq is a historic, strategic, and moral calamity" he states.  That is strong and clear language for anyone. 

But perhaps more interestingly, his take on the "struggle of civilisations" so called, is most interesting:

"the war is now being redefined as the "decisive ideological struggle" of our time, reminiscent of the earlier collisions with Nazism and Stalinism. In that context, Islamist extremism and al Qaeda are presented as the equivalents of the threat posed by Nazi Germany and then Soviet Russia"

But he isn't buying that argument, and sees that this level of power does not exist in the Islamic world, at least represented in the Middle East, for reasons he explains, and that the comparison is not valid.

It's timely and sobering reading.